As much as we know that.... But the fact is....

I still remembered well enough how she took care of me whenever parents are out to work. She would cook me a plate of her best nasi goreng with all sort of surprises in it.

I still remembered how she would always always always visit my room after midnight to see if I was asleep or not, but I was always still awake. She kept saying..

"Bagus Naqiah tidur lambat. Nenek ader jugak kawan.."
"It's good that you actually sleep late. At least I would have company..."

And I would always "ngomel" at her..

"Nenek asal belom tido? Aper sajer tau buat.. Haha"
"Why aren't you asleep yet grandma? Whatever are you doing up so late..Haha"

I still remembered how she loved gripping my hand tight whenever she walks down the stairs or whenever my family brings her out. I was the one who gave her the support and hold her hand to walk.

I still remembered how she protected me when I was about to get beaten up by my parents. (not gonna elaborate.)

I still remembered how she consoled me whenever I had a disagreement with my parents.

I still remembered how she would say that she loved seeing me eat coz I made the food looked soo good and she would always have the appetite to eat.

I still remembered how she advised me to never ever disrespect my parents no matter how much I think that it wasn't my fault.

She was my saviour.
She was my pillar of strength.
She was my idol.
She was my role model.

It has been 8 days..

Yet, the fact that she is now gone forever still hasn't sink in.

As much as we know that she is no longer there...
As much as we know that she is in a better place now...
As much as we know that she has suffered enough...
As much as we know that she has been fighting hard...

The whole family misses her.
Each mention of the name "Arwah Nenek" saddens me. I tear up each time trying to say "Arwah Nenek". I can't even bring myself to say "Arwah" when saying "Nenek".

It's not that I don't want to let her go.
But, I can't believe that she's gone.

A person whom everyone thought had the undying will to fight back.
The "never-say-die" attitude.

Everything is gonna be different in the house.

I promised her to drive her around when I get my license.
But I didn't even manage to.

I promised her that I'd bring her out for dinner when I get my first pay from my SIP.
But the time didn't come.

I keep on staring at her room for a few seconds each time I pass by.

It just feels.........................
silent.
still.

I just miss her very much.
But right now, I'd give all my Fatihah to her, arwah Tok and arwah Adik.

Nek, kalau jumpe adik, ckap dgn adik, Naqiah rinduuuuu sgt kat dier k.
Naqiah pon rinduuuuuuu sgt kat Nenek. Nenek jaga diri baik2 k. :')