Untuned Rhapsody

i m starting to hate myself.........alot......

one by one...my hopes get shattered. n OUCH..! it hurts.....it hurts alot....*sObs*

when i come to tink of it.......all dat has happen its totally my fault. i keep on lying to myself... i keep on lying to others...why? why? why?

it hurts to lose a fren in juz a split second.
it hurts when something u hoped wld actually happen..n right in front of u...it just ended.
it hurts to see a loved one go.
it hurts to see pple losing trust in u.
it hurts to try to hold back ur tears even though it keeps on flowing.
it hurts to lie to urself abt how much u hate that person when deep down inside...u luv him soo much dat its hard to let him go.
it hurts...it really hurts.

looks like em gona celebrate valentines day alone........again..wif no partner...no special gifts....no kisses...no hugs....no "i Love u"s....no holding hands.......no moments to treasure wif dat special sumone.......no no no...all no...a big fat NO..!!!

serve me right...i've been longing for all dat to happen.......for a very long time.....very very long time......~ n i thought it wld happen now...but i guess it wont....

i tink i haf to stop trying so hard n keep lying to myself dat i can actually do it. i lost 2 frens in da process.....frens whom i thought could be a soul mate later on.sumone to hold me when i feel alone......

guess i thought wrong...haiz...naqiah naqiah...when r u ever gona stop trying.............

i just feel so lonely ryd now...everyone is busy with their own lives.......~