what...?

Sometimes, I just sit down and wonder....

What am I doing right now?

Then, I'll just sigh.... and leave that question unanswered because apparently, I have no answer.

Times like these, when I'm left all alone, noone to talk to, nothing to do, bored...... I just tend to wonder....

Who do I have?

Family? Do they always hear me out?

Friends? Are they always there for me?

Relatives? They are busy with their own lives

Acquaintences? Who are they anyway?

Not being emotional or whatever but it's just that, I see people having plans with their friends and you don't expect myself to just ask them to cancel them just to spare time with me. Right? That's being so selfish, but sometimes, I keep telling myself, is it really worthwhile to be nice to people and yet, you go unnoticed?

I don't know. It seems that I've had a few incidents and it seems that my efforts to please people aren't being notice. What more when I ask a favour from them. So now I stop to think, should I carry on being nice? Or should I be selfish, cruel and think the world of me?

I always thought that I only need a few friends and thats enough. But come to think of it, it always ends up having my other off-the-net friends to help me, spend time with me, hear me out and simply make my day. So tell me, who do I REALLY turn to?

This might be random. Maybe it's because I'm sick right now, spend the whole FRIDAY alone at home with the maid, nothing to do. Or maybe, I have expectations for myself, and none of them are being fulfilled.

Ok, I'm off to peel the dry skin on my nose. The flu ruined my nose!! I need to get the moisturiser now.