tag replies

I didn't realise I had alot of tags I haven't replied.. here goes....

(from recent to oldest...)

MIZA: Aku pooonn!! LET's GO OUT NEXT WEEK PLS PLS PLS!!!!

FISH: Nasib seorang budak SIP. Takpe.. aku paham. LOL!

BINX: Jom ah pegi bowling!!!!! Aku dari WED dah abis exam. JOM JOM!!!

LELA: LOL! Aku tgk bhangra tu pon mcm jakun siak. Pada aku cam gerek ok!!! Abe the guests pon ader mcm joget joget. Cool siak! And kau dgn fish samer. Tag Flooders. Aku rindu kau ok!

BABY: Of course laa! I want to go shopping can? pls pls...

HAS: Haha.. tu bende belom start.. dah ader website. Abe reservation is for year 2008. Semangat benar.. tapi mahal nak mampus. Siak betol. Skali future husband aku propose aku kat dalam tuu.. candlelight dinner semer... Mak ai.. punye romantic!!

JANNAH: Si fish ni perasan. mentang2 la ikan. pfft.

FISH: Aku nak Fish & Co. eh. Bukan AlFISYah. Takde kaitan yang hidup dgn yang mati and especially dgn kau ok.

NANIBEAR: Haha..! Ok ok.. skarang aku tau...

CHICANAZ: Aww.. thank u!! And I saw you the other day!! Like finally!

SUSHI: Baru kau dpt tgk blog aku? Serious ke aper? Hish....

AYU: Aku rindu kau la ok.!!!

P.S. The colours look so Christmas-Y. :)

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finally....

From the first time I knew you, I thought "Oh well. You're just the same like the others. I can see where this is going..."

You proved me wrong.

Though you were sometimes harsh, you still had a soft spot. Oh, everyone does. Yet, you attracted me. You were somewhat, different than the others. For once, I knew someone who was being his/her own self. You didn't need to impress me.

The moment you said what you had to say, I felt this feeling that I've been waiting for. I was so elated, that I was literally speechless. I'm sure you knew how I felt.
I don't know about how true your words are. However, you still assured me that you ain't no sweet-talker. I'm sure about it. Plus, you assured me that whatever I am won't bother you. You're willing to accept me the way that I am...
*sings The Way I Are...*

It was like, I've known you for ages. However, your insecurities got in the way...
You told me about yourself. I wasn't surprise. Yet, I was thankful that you were frank towards me, truthful to me. For that, I'm beginning to feel that maybe, just maybe, this could be it.

It was my turn to assure you that nothing would change the bond that we have now. Everyone has their goods and bads. I'm sure you know that too.
I'm still determined that I can prove to you that I can accept you as who you are. Not on what I see or hear.
I know you're changing for the better. :)

I still have that specific feeling in myself. The thought of you saying that, and at that precise moment, the thing that I felt kept playing in my head. I know I've never felt that way before. Then on, I know that this means something.

Could this be it? Or should I keep on holding back?

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shame on u!

Shame on you! You've been leaving the untuned rhapsody for too long. I know your fingers are itching too much to blog. Now update me!

Okay. So I've been too busy mugging for the exams that I haven't been updating my precious untuned rhapsody. Seriously, I'm having a migraine just from mugging.

So the past week has all been books and papers and notes for me. I've been playing around the colour pens for several days just to jot down notes with different colours to help me remember. Yes, I work with colours so as to help my mind differentiate between main points and the details.

I mean I did some hanging out as well but not that usual. Been missing the usual bunch. People like Fizah, Ayul, Ayu, Maz, Miza, Ira, Wani... It feels like ages since I've seen them. Lucky for me, I still got my GF around. When's the next outing yaw!?

Anyways, had some events and outings. Check out the photos here.

I've met up with people whom I haven't seen in ages. People like my Primary School GFs. Seriously, I miss them like truckloads sia. Also friends whom I've met like once or twice and then we just drifted. Haha. Oh well... it was a nice feeling though. :)

So today would be my last paper. I'm taking a mini hiatus from studying right now. I can't think anymore. I'm suffering from a mental breakdown. I think.

Ya Allah, tenangkanlah mindaku dan terangkanlah hati hambaMu ini Ya Allah. Moga aku diberi ketenangan untuk menghadapi peperiksaan ini Insyallah. Sesungguhnya, Engkaulah Maha Pengasih dan Engkaulah Maha Penyayang. Amin.

I've been reading prayers, like alot, just to calm myself down. I feel nervous all of a sudden and I will just start to panic for some reason. This ain't normal. Trust me.


Oh and did anyone catch the "two moons" on 27th Aug at midnight?

Ella, my cousin, said she did saw the 2 moons but it ain't clear. I asked for a picture and she got this...

This picture describes a failed attempt of snapping a shot of the "2 moons" that was supposedly to appear at 12.30am on 27th August.

And when I asked Ella what this picture was showing.. she said...

"It's the moon."

-_________________-"

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it must be the weather

Here I am, a few minutes to 1 am, listening to Trance tracks and tunes, where you can only get blasting of the stereos of clubs and what nots, at full volume, thru the earphones I stuffed in my ears. Whats with me? I don't know. Must be the weather.

Finally, after the hustle of finishing up projects and assignments and preps of presentations for the past few days, it has all come to an end.
For once, I can finally breath..

This was why I'm so tied down with school..

Monday: DERV Test and COTS Assignment due

Tuesday: BIS Lab test and CMSK4 Brochure Assignment due

Wednesday: DERV Assignment due and COTS Presentation

Thursday: DERV Assignment presentation

Friday: BasicFA Assignment due

Now tell me, which poly student can live through that? Well, I did but that was because I got lucky. I fell sick at the start of the week and til TODAY, my nose is still running. Not literally of course.
I'm becoming euphoric, so bad that I can go crazy. The heaviest and biggest burden is lifted of me and I can finally smell holidays just around the corner.
But wait, I've declared myself in holiday mood but I've still got exams to get over with. Sheesh. If only I can kill whoever was responsible for inventing examinations. Such a pain. Boooo!~

Oh well, more mugging for the whole of next week. Better than having to do research and presentations. Thank God.
I so can't wait for holidays. Though I've got no plans yet for the holidays, but I'm looking forward to it. 2 months of nothings and pure sheer laziness. Oh how exciting. Of course not forgetting Ramadhan, the fasting month and Syawal, HARI RAYA!!!!! YAY!

Thinking of making a trip to Batam with dear Mumsy. I want J.Co Donuts and I wana get some shopping done there. Oh and in Singapore too. My wardrobe's so empty, literally. I'm not saying this as a "typical-teenager-who-thinks-that-everything-that-he/she-has-right-now-is-not-enough" 17 year old, mind u.
Seriously, if you see what I really have, you won't expect it to be coming from me. Though I might seem I have alot, but really, I have more of the unnecessary stuff, which God knows how it got there initially, than what I really need right now.
Right now, I need more clothes and accessories.

I still remembered those days when I was still playing masak masak and the "jangan kawan dier. dier jahat." games. Mumsy showered me with lots of dresses and hats.
How much of a brat was I. A pampared brat.
I was the eldest, and of course the cutest. I didn't ask for anything. I was beladi stupid at that point of time for all I know. All I ever cared was for bottles and toys.

Now? Asking for a single dollar can be such a pain sometimes. Sheesh.

I need money. Lots of it.

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Jakun-ism in ACTION

OMG OMG OMG!
This is the FIRST EVER TIME I saw a bhangra troope in a Muslim wedding!!!! OMG OMG!!

COOL KE APER!!! And I had to take a video of it...
Aku tau aku semangat, tapi tak selalu k kau tgk bhangra sambut kedatangan pengantin!!

Oh and after that my mum said..

"Ok la. Nanti Kakak nak kawin, Mama buat kan gitu. Since I got Indian blood, boleh buat Bhangra."

WHAAATTTT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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painful pressures

Had my dental appointment today.... after 3 months.

Went to Orchard.. alone.. :(

How pathetic...

Yet, I had my dose of "Hot, handsome and cute guys" sightings on my way there.
There is nothing like "oogling at boys" when you're single. Haha..


Anyways, had a change of bands for my braces. Now its a superbly beeaauuttifuull colour of RED! I love my braces.... :)

Ok, so my teeth hurts right now. I can't even chew... :( The pressure the bands are giving to pull my teeth together is soo painful. Let 2 days pass faster plss..... I want the pain to go away.. :(

Met GF at Tampines. Initially decided to walk around Orchard since I was already there, but thanks to mom, she wanted me to be home early, as always. So decided to just go Starbuck-ing at Tampines. Thanks GF for meeting me up or not I'll end up having a stupid Friday alone.

Had a dose of a Grande Caramel Frappucino with added Java Chips and an Oreo Cheesecake. With great company with the GF, what more can I ask for from a simple, cooling Friday.
GF, I want the gorgeous pics pls... thanx.. :)

Anyways, after ages of not stepping into a place full of pink, me and GF finally got ourselves Neoprints!!! I still wonder why de hell those things are super expensive -.-
So anyways, yeaahh.... i love the neoprints.

After that, walked around Tampines mall. For some reason, it wasn't as crowded like the usual. I guess it is because major renovations are going on. For instance, Metro, Giordano, Isetan. Haha.. Oh and I've got an eye on this Zinc sling bag. Only 29.90. So worth it sey... Papaaaaaa!!!!!!

Decided to watch a movie, tapi masa tak mengizinkan. Sorry GF, I'll make it up to you ok. Promise.
Then she went to meet her friend at Bedok, while I made my way home.

Thanks GF for today. You're all the company I needed.
With her around, I forget about boyfriends.

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impulsive.

Been a real busy week for me. I had a project submission on Monday and Tuesday, a presentation and a submission on Wednesday, a presentation TODAY and one final submission on Friday.

Someone just kill me.

One helluva week for me. Thank god it's coming to an end real soon. I just want Thursday afternoon to end like REAL fast.... Why? The presentation on Thursday morning is a killer. Why do they create Derivatives? No wait. Why are there evil lecturers?!

Anyways, I had some weird events happening.

Firstly, Mr B suddenly texted me during the weekends. Was it because he was missing me? I don't know. Whatever it is, I felt numb about it and today, he rang me up. He told me he would be away for two weeks. I know very well what the reason was and he told me not to tell anyone. I'm the only person who knows. Still, why me?

Next, my ex's wife texted me yesterday at dinner. Damn was I shocked about it. Like REALLY. I thought I was long forgotten by them and they were erased in my mind. Suddenly, there she was. You can say I'm "traumatised" but in a good kind of way. But, not to worry. I'm in good terms with the wife. We've met before and that meeting was like meeting your deepest darkest fear that you've been keeping to yourself. At that point of time, I felt like I was the mistress. Only God knows how nervous I was... what more speechless when I actually saw them. My heart skipped a many beat(s). Thank God that's history..

Then I started to have those feelings again. Those thoughts that makes my sub-conscience run wild. My conscience has awaken again... and this time, it's causing a major turmoil to myself...

Thoughts about wrecking the ex's life came across my mind when I was having my bus journey home from school. To think again, why should I even bother? It's not like he would be running back to me. Though I treasured him alot and also he is one true love where everything was just nice, simple and precious, yet he's not meant to be.

Those days are still freshed in my head.

Nonetheless, those days again, are just history. Bitter sweet memories.

Feelings begin to submerged from the depths of my heart. I just didn't know why it still existed. I was truly confident that I've long thrown all of it away. Yet, noone can really seem to replace what I felt during those days. I guess, like always, the only thing to do now is wait.

Now I feel that waiting is becoming a pest.

Sometimes, we need to think of evil thoughts to trigger second thoughts. Though I can be impulsive at times, but in the end, I'm no bad ass.

If only I knew the reason behind everything that happens.....

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At the verge

School is killing me. I have 4 submissions and 2 presentations for the next coming week and time is against me. I'm at the verge of just blowing up. I'm tired, stressed and definitely drained of all brain power that is within me. Just hope I don't fall sick with the amount of stress that I'm facing right this moment.

Anyways, I did mention I went to Marina Bay to watch NDP live. So here are some of the shots I took...

Notice the flag my dad is holding? He was for some reason super excited over the fact that he broke his virginity of 18 years when he watched the NDP live this year. Haha! So patriotic. He was waving the flag and didn't let go of the flag for almost the entire show. Oh well, somehow, he got tired and he could even sleep sometime during the later displays. AHAHAHAHAH! So much for being patriotic.

Look at the crowd outside One Fullerton Hotel. All enthusiastic Singaporeans waiting to watch the NDP without having any access to the Marina Bay stadium and of course, the long awaited fireworks. Funky!

The view of the ECP from where I was seated. Cool eh? HAHA.. I LOVE THE FERRIS WHEEL!!!!!!

For some reason, these people in weird looking costumes are suppose to be mascots and motivators. I have no idea whats up with the costumes. Trying to go along with the "by the bay" theme? Bad attempt. Minus the costume, and everything would be so much better.

Anyways, there are other photos here. Feel free to check them out. Uploading all of them here takes tooo much time. Oh and there is also a video of the fireworks which I have yet to upload to my Multiply. The video irritating sikit sebab for the last 2 minutes when it was the grand finale, my camera card was full. Mmg ni camera carik pasal dgn aku tapi takpe.

That was National Day. The next day was Yan's birthday. Dah tua "budak" tu yer.. :x Ooosss...

Me and Fizah bought for him a birthday cake. He didn't expect it. Tergamam ke ape Yan. LOL!Anyways, the cake was brought to you by Yours Truly and it was from DJ Bakery. The cakes there are super sedap nak mampos k.

Happy 22nd Birthday YAN!

*tua sia. Oooosss...*

So that is one birthday down. The next birthday was my dearest Papa...

Happy 44th Birthday PAPA!!!!!

Oh and also not forgetting....

Happy 18th Anniversary Mum & Dad!!!!

*mind you, their anniversary was on the 7th of August. :x*

So the family had dinner at Fish & Co. at Parkway Parade. It was our first time dining there and I tell you, I was so bloody excited la. I mean it's my first's there and I was spoilt for choice to decide which dish would be perfect for dinner. I had to go for the New York Fish & Chips because it said in the menu something about having cheese in the fish. COOL OR WHAT!?

Sis had the Original Fish & Chips. The waiters should have warned us about the size of Fish & Chips they were serving. The fish was BESAR GILER PIG KEDAUNG ok! Tergamam skejap. But seriously, the food was super duper nice. I wanna go there again!!!!!

Oh and mama and papa had the Seafood Platter for 2. Now get a load of this......

Anyone for Fish & Co.? Please please please! Next time I wanna try the Salmon.

Counting down the days...

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a patriotic and excited citizen of SG

Ok my fellow friends.....

Tomorrow I'm gonna watch NDP LIVE!!!! LIVE!!!!

You guys are definitely jealous. Haha.. ok shut up. Jealous kan kan kan?

So anyways, being a citizen of Singapore, this is the only day when I would be patriotic, semangat nak mampus and excited giler pig to celebrate the nation's birthday. Singapore is turning 42 tomorrow, *tua siak. seb baik aku masih muda*, and there will be me, sitting at the marina bay stadium, shouting my lungs out to the national songs in red and white. LOL! Semangat kental. Never dying spirit!

We are Singapore, we are Singapore....

We will stand together, hear the lion roar....

We are Singapore, we are Singapore...

We're a nation strong and free forever more..

Whenever this song is played, it makes me have an adrenalin rush of some sort. I don't know. The movement of this song just makes me feel so so excited for some reason.

Oh well whatever it is, had loads of fun performing for Changkat Band just now at Changkat's National Day celebrations in school. It has been a while since I performed for the school. How I miss school performances......

Anyways, played the usual national songs... and we had like 3 encores. I didn't know that Changkat band was like the lovable CCA in Changkat. I mean, they cheered for us even better than the previous years when I was still a Changkat student. Anyways, yeah, the performance was great. Miss the band loads that I decided to skip my lab session, which initially, there was NO lesson at all. Pfft.

So, after lunch with the fellow alumni of Changkat band, I had nowhere else to go, not until 3.30, so decided to head home and finish up on my projects as much as I can.

At 2.50pm, left home and headed to Paya Lebar to meet Nany and Nura. Oh how I miss IRC gatherings and outings. Haha. Met them and headed to Somerset to meet the other fellow IRC-ians who were meeting me and Nany. Nura dropped at Bugis because she wanted to go study.

So reached Somerset and waited at the Orang Julius outside California Fitness opposite Orchard Cineleisure. Soon, Ida and Elia came with the most adorable Baby Ain. Baby Ain is definitely the cutest and most adorable baby on earth!!!!! She farted at me seyy.... eventhough I know that she has the most comforable seat that a baby could ask for. But her fart's a killer. Sumpah dier kentot lagi dahsyat dari aku. Macam orang tua siaa.. Bunyik... mak aiii.. mauutt tau! Her mom says that if she doesn't like that someone, she will fart at him/her. Irritating nyerr!!!!!!

But nevermind, I still love u ok Baby Ain. Haha.

So after Ida and Elia, came Ayul. He came by for a while and to Ayul...

Your hair sucks because it seems like u're bald at the side where you have ur Adidas stripes. Seriously.

So anyways, Ben came after that, and Ayul had to go off for his dance prac. 15 minutes later, Elia had to go off to take care of her siblings at home. Soon after, it was my turn because Mama called me already to meet her at Tampines.

While walking back to Somerset MRT, saw Shah who was on his way to meet the rest. Talk to him for a bit and made my way back to Tampines.

So since I'm watching NDP live tomorrow, I had to get for myself a red top. What I had in mind was to get a tank top from Topshop because I like the material and of course the length. But, I was lazy to go to Bugis to get one so decided to go to Espirit and bought two tanks for $42. One red and one white. Then I bought a pair of skinny black jeans and a pair of black three-quarts because my wardrobe is SUPER empty. I need to buy more stuff puh-lease. More shopping spree this weekend? Anyway, thanks mom for the stuffs today. :)

Anyways, Bonny sent me this url in irc of a video in YouTube and those Malays or even Non-Malays who are familiar with it, might find it quite a surprise.....

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better left unsaid

Here I am.. waiting...

I know right then I was just a companion. I never did mean anything to you. All those sweet words, the late night calls, the hopes that you've given me... all meant nothing.

Right now, I know what I was to you. Nothing.

I need not here it from anyone, needless to say, even from you. You're long gone right after the minute where I didn't hear from you. Yet, you still tried to convince me that you're always right there when I needed you.

So much for the sweet words. Thank God I didn't fall for any of them and my decision to stop was definitely the right move. I guess God has shown His love towards me. I was blinded by everything sweet and nice, that I forgot the harsh and cruel reality which is staring back at me.

All those pictures, explains everything. Those "I love you"s and "I miss you"s are simply bulls*it. It holds no meaning. I'm glad I'm not hearing from you anymore. You were kind enough to tell me that you're gonna be away for 3 weeks. 3 weeks? Trying to spend that 3 weeks with your partner is it? All that you were said were simply lies. My instincts tell me everytime whenever I received a call from you, it's the liar calling me. A down right LIAR.

I don't need any explanation now or ever. I'm not sure even if you're reading this. Whatever it is, even if you do, don't bother to apologise. I don't need any of it.

My insticts were true. Right then, it took me so long to figure any of it out because I didn't wanna hurt you. Instead, you've hurt me.

Thanks for making me feel stupid. Thanks a million for wasting the empty space in my heart.

Somethings are better left unsaid....

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Reflecting...

Look at me

You may think you see

Who I really am

But you'll never know me

Everyday, it's as if I play a part

Now I see, if I wear a mask

I can fool the world

But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see,

Staring straight, back at me?

When will my reflection show,

Who I am inside?

Sometimes, we are so sure of someone that we think we know them, thick and thin. Fact is, we don't. No matter how much we can actually judge someone or tell what their next move is, only he/she knows herself best.

However, many people are stil trying to deny it. Deny the undeniable.

They say, "I don't know myself. I'm confused about what I want and need right now."

Noone can be so uncertain of themselves. I mean, seriously, if you don't know yourself, what makes you think others will know you?

I guess all of us are just too caught up in trying to be someone whom we're not, and impress others rather than being the person that we are, and reflect on ourselves.

Reflect. Reflections. Why does it exist anyway? We can't see through ourselves in the first place.

We try to deny the truth. Yet, everything will just go against us. How long more are we trying to lie to ourselves? All we want is to thing that everything is fine. Fine.

What's so fine about anything? Nothing.

I don't know. Everything is going against me. I guess I have to start changing my ways. Well, from all I can see through myself, I've changed. Though to some, I'm becoming from bad to worse. Oh whatever. As long as I'm contented with myself, that'll be just fine.

See.... I'm lying to myself yet again.

Sheesh. I just will keep on lying and lying. That's what I've been doing. Just to make myself happy. Sometimes, I even wonder to myself, how do I do it?

Oh well, everyone has their own secrets.

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i've been tagged... THANX AH LAINI!

Thanx eh Laini.... LOL!

Each player of this game starts off with ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself. People who get tagged must write in a blog of their own ten weird things or habits or little known facts as well as state this rule clearly. At the end you must choose six people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs!

1) For the millionth time, I'M NOT A LESBIAN!

2) I do talk to myself when it ends up that noone is listening to me. Ah ok.

3) Ask me to cook? Not gonna happen. It takes me like a whole 15 mins just to slice onions.

4) I have apparently taken up the position of being everyone's batal. For some reason, people just love putting their heads on my shoulders and my arms.

5) I'm proud to be fat and I'm proud to be boncet. DEAL WITH IT!

6) When I say I'm a quiet person.. I REALLY AM!

7) I have quitted smoking ok. So don't bother asking and offering me a ciggarette.

8) I'm a chocoholic and have obsessions over sweet stuff. That explains the weight I'm gaining and NOT losing.

9) I do attend religious classes on Saturday so that explains why my Saturdays are usually occupied.

10) I am the YOUNGEST among my friends. NOT the oldest.

To those who wants to do this, just do this. I can't name anyone right now. haha.

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